Pretty much every writer and thinker with a public platform has had something to say about resolutions this month. Perspectives ranged from aggressively forward-looking to softly permissive of in-between time (Check out Anna Brones, Creative Fuel).
Since a big traveling vacation in December meant I hit the new year “behind,” I felt discombobulated, not exactly ready for a new routine, much less a highly structured one. But I didn’t want a month off either. I just wanted to hit reset and find the rhythm I’d had before my whirlwind of logistics and sights and people.
Instead, I got stuck in wide-ranging debates about what kinds of goal-setting would best set me up for a successful year - Should I plan quarterly? Monthly? Big, hairy, audacious goals (BHAGs)? Or tightly structured SMART ones (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-based)? Or none at all?
I’ve spent nearly the entire month waffling, not sure about where I wanted to set my stakes. Well into 2024, I’m still trying to make sense of my resolve.
And then today, I received a message from Mom Rage(r) Julie Kling “Shred your Vision Board, and make a tangible plan for dropping the ball this year”
Uh oh.
It’s true, a lot of us struggle to fit our ideas into a resolution paradigm. As an ambitious person, I dream big. But I sometimes over-assume - about how much capacity I have; about what’s going to be important; about the nearness of success. Then, when I find myself dealing with disappointment fall-out (frequently), I flounder.
Squishing achievement hopes down into measures I can control sounds good. But tight boundaries and rigid to-do lists rub contrarian me the wrong way - where’s the magic in that? I mean, I will do the things. The exercise is helpful; I like being able to track small achievements, But it’s not the way I’m naturally inclined to think.
Then again, I’m not so contrarian as to want to abandon goal-setting altogether.
What do you do when you can’t quite grasp goals that work?
Listening to James Clear’s Atomic Habits, I realized why I both embrace and dislike the big goal-setters, the hardcore organizers and the anti-resolutionist crowd equally. I don’t feel at home with any of them, because where I really fit, is in process.
One of the points in the book is that the habits we keep are often the ones most reflective of our identities. So any resolution-ing we do is best linked to who we are, or at least, who we want to become.
If I desire to be someone intentional who prioritizes the important stuff, then I’ll adopt and maintain habits that reflect those beliefs. The weekly calendar and accountability group, both focused on my fiction writing? It’s not so hard to keep up with them, because they reinforce my view of myself as who I want to be - a writer.
I started this newsletter because I also see myself as a seeker, someone who lives life at a seasonal and reasonable pace, making time for wonder, gratitude, Magic.
I love the idea that breathing deeply, looking and listening, using my imagination, and sharing it on a page are “atomic habits,” part of a system that defines me.
Without nailing down the action steps or benchmarks or making much of a “to do” list for this work, I’m doing it. It’s an enjoyable part of my process. I don’t even need metrics for the most part (although I like to see subscriptions trending upward 😊)
Since it helps to understand my life as a journey in which I’m living daily, learning continuously, growing (hopefully), the habits and resolutions that serve me best are those that feed me along the path. I’m working on dailyness - morning pages, paying attention to the natural and human world I inhabit, finding space for creativity, listening and empathizing without making myself the fixer of others, making my bed.
In pursuit of joy on the journey, doing what makes you happy, nurturing yourself, and investing - money, time, community, or creative energy - for a net-positive return over your life is the not-so-audacious, selectively time-bound, possibly measurable goal. (Thanks to my Inked Voices writing community for some of these ideas)
We are - and always will be - in process. To me, that means “live with myself, as myself, in myself…for others” The journey is the goal, the fun along the way, the wonder, the beauty, the Magic. Of course it is.
May you find your own way, resolutions or not!