It’s all worthwhile.
I’ve wasted a lot of time trapped under the assumption that Real Life consists of some imagined set of dramas and stakes with consequence. For other people. Where headline-worthy personal tragedies or big victories define Interesting and Important lives, I figured my privilege and the sheer mundanity of my daily-ness dictated more of a “little l” life story. My job decisions, relationship challenges, and family concerns are decidedly not “Capital L” Life vs. Death. Just life vs. different life. Strictly small potatoes. Nothing to write about.
The quietness of my experience left me afraid to put my thoughts out into the world. When one of my favorite bloggers, an Episcopalian priest in Texas, invokes a 16th century poet-mystic to assert that if God’s first language is silence, “Who are we to interrupt?” I couldn’t help but agree. Who am I to speak to Life? And in this age of incessant branding and sharing, I worried about bringing value and not just adding to the noise.
But recently, I’ve been thinking that maybe I’m missing the big picture. There’s as much to reflect upon in luck and good genes as in heartbreak and hustle. All our journeys are both smooth and bumpy. I love immersing myself in slice of life reflections and musings on navigating our world through creative work, writing, spirituality, parenting, childish things. These “little l” contemplations frequently spark meaning in my day to day.
There’s magic in the “little l.” Of course there is.
It was bound to happen.
Nelson Mandela didn’t say it after all, but this line so often attributed to him1 still resonates: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure…We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.”
Yes, I am both afraid of not succeeding and afraid of succeeding. I shy from power. I’m not sure I ever actually wanted the “Capital L” life that’s impressed me from afar. But it’s remarkable how much of my fiction writing features characters finding their voices. How encouraged I am by the journeys of friends embracing originality. Julia Cameron’s affirmations in The Artist’s Way suggest each of us can be a unique channel for God’s creativity. And so, the magic of this newsletter, is that I am finding and embracing and channeling to share with you.
If I catch a bit of magic, whether through sunny optimism or determined searching, I’ll mine those small triumphs, wonders, or moments for “Capital L” perspective. I’ll call out longing, Learning, laughter, and Leadership to inform my story and yours. That’s the worth of tuning in.
1 Actual originator, Marianne Williamson (A Return to Love, 1992). Yes, the Marianne Williamson, who’s running for President. Go figure.
Where is the magic in YOUR “little l” world?
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I Love this. Capital L intentional. Thank you for naming something I was struggling to define.