Judgement Time
Keep Looking for the Sky
The passage of time serves to remind us - to be human is to be small within the universe.
Like most of us, I want my thoughts and actions to add to something. Riding the ups and downs of life, I hope to see growth and improvement along the way. Progress. But sometimes days and years feel like treading water.
I have plenty on my mind, but a limited reach. Does what I do or think even matter? Who wants my judging and opinionating? For all my ideas about the world, I’m not an influencer.
But I have perspective.
In half a life or so, I’ve learned all kinds of useful things, some of which I later had to unlearn, or re-learn. I’ve built a store of anecdotes, hopeful accounts about making good, along with more sobering stories of when I messed things up. And all those crises surmounted? When I look back, it’s hard to see that much has changed. The same concerns keep showing up as new crises in different context. I’ve followed the pendulum as it swings.
In my experience, the sky seems ever falling, but like magic, it never actually falls.
Which is not to say that people don’t experience real tragedy nor that communities won’t get themselves into tough spots from which recovery seems unimaginable. We can’t dismiss stress and trauma with platitudes. However, perspective has its own magic.
During the recent overlong (never-ending?) political season, I read two interesting articles that I can’t stop thinking about. On focused on opinionating, the other on hypocrisy, but underneath, both looked at judgement with the reflective lens of time. Perspective helps to offset the intensity of what we think and feel in the now.
Relationships and conversations - good ones, anyway - evolve through listening, contextual information, and thoughtful reflection, all things that require time. Long form, long reach stories convey bigger ideas of what’s real and true than what we get from soundbites and statements measured in characters. We know that, of course, but frequently, it doesn’t seem to make much difference. It’s hard to see progress.
So, I keep turning to the sky.
and in Seattle, the Mountain tells its own story of time…
As I reflected a couple of weeks ago, time turns, no matter what. The daily rising and setting of the sun oversees our challenges and changes and ultimately transcends our moments of entrapment, whether in predicaments of our own making, news cycles, or eruptions of opinion. In the midst of what I think of as “the froth,” it helps me to remember that nothing bubbles on high forever.
I just finished reading the lovely memoir, “You Could Make This Place Beautiful” by Maggie Smith (the American poet, not the recently deceased “Dowager” Dame). In it, she processes her divorce and the unexpected dissolution of her family with the exhortation:
“Do not be stilled by anger and grief. Burn them both, and use that fuel to keep moving. Look up at the clouds and tip your head way back so the roofs of the houses disappear. Keep moving.”
Perspective is our evidence of evolution. We’ve kept moving.
Once upon a time, I led a struggling non-profit organization doing great work to help kids and families access equitable educational opportunities. The more we struggled with finances and staffing, the more I launched rescues to keep us afloat, making myself both indispensable and stuck. If I left, and the organization collapsed, I knew it would feel like my fault. I froze, until a mentor encouraged me to move on, saying, “it’s enough to do good while you are doing it. You’re not responsible for forever.” Though the non-profit folded, others emerged. The sky stayed up.
I can see it today.
I’m learning to wield perspective like a shield against cynicism and despair: my daughter needs a heart surgery - kind of a major stressor; OR…in the cardiologist’s long view, no big deal; My school district wants to close our local elementary - something divisive and angst-producing for our community…OR not the end of the world.1 Promises are made and recanted. Times are tough. The sky is falling.
But ultimately, NOT.
What passes for magic - awe, wonder, love, deep beauty, spiritual connection - is more transcendent than whatever current anxiety, fashionable idea, or posture in the political games of the day. We may wallow in worry; Society may pressure us to jump onto bandwagons, post, share, and claim positions lest we be left out of conversations. But we are more than “in this moment” people. When our psyches want to react by catastrophizing hard stuff, it’s in our interest to take a breath first, and check:
Is the sky still up there?
“Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.” Rainer Maria Rilke
Keep looking !
Note -fifteen years ago, they threatened to close a different set of schools, just as vital to their communities as ours is to us. They didn’t. And then they did. And then, they opened them all back up. Time marches on. The crises leave their marks. We more or less survive.
Love this! The sky not falling is a perfect metaphor for magic in dark times. Similarly in my WIP my MC finds comfort from his troubles by noting the ocean will always be there, rushing in and out. Acknowledging our small place in the universe, doesn't make us small but gives us much needed perspective. Thanks for sharing!
Stephanie, I'm not a religious person, but I have always had appreciation for the wisdom described in the Serenity Prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." It's so well-known and well-worn because the struggle to "know" is as long as our lives are lucky enough to be. Hugs.