I went awry this week - off my schedule, rhythm, intentions - and while I can identify the reasons, it didn’t feel good. While it is a gift to be able to pursue a dream, to set your own schedule, or to follow creative moods or muses, it is also a vulnerability. Because feelings can hijack best-laid plans. Flexibility can give way to loss of control.
Unable to see the play of stressors on my psyche, I cycled through productive hours without much sense of accomplishment; I lost my reflective posture; Instead of staying open to wisdom, beauty, or inspiration, I forgot to look for magic.
It was kind of a wake-up call.
I started this newsletter almost a year ago to connect big picture thoughts about wonderment and paying attention to the process of living out creative intentions and to my day to day work writing children’s fiction.
But why magic?
So many creatives acknowledge Big Magic (Elizabeth Gilbert), “the presence of wonder” (E.B. White, Charlotte’s Web), “the gift of paying attention” (Julia Cameron, The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity), “being whimsical” (Mary Oliver, Wild Geese) as part of their successful journeys. Initially, I posed What Magic? in response.
These ideas closely reflect the ideals of curious, open childhood - a sensibility that so many of us seem to lose as we follow the paradigms of hustle and productivity in adulthood. To create for children, I wanted to challenge and enrich my “little l life” by tapping into the experiences, imagination, and inspirations that make children’s literature so compelling and enduring. Magic. Wonder.
Without these things, it’s not as if beauty disappears, or spiritual yearnings go away. But a creative brain on autopilot is not awake. Gratitude, mindfulness, and generativity fall to the side. This week, out of touch with my North Star, I found it hard to be in wonder. With mind and body temporarily untethered from intention, I lost connection to the wider world. Despite walking through summer lushness, I missed many opportunities to observe color and artistry, to take in inspiration. And as it turns out, I need them.
The “magic” I seek is healing - it pulls me up and out of the expected flow of “stuff” and transports me; It focuses my relationship with the world beyond today’s angsts and externalities; and it adds clarity and context, balancing attention-thieving trauma drama and news cycle catastrophizing with beauty, blessings, bounty.
So, I’ll take care to keep my senses attuned. I’ll pay attention to what’s sparkling or singing in my environment. I’ll hold on to curiosity and open-eyed perspective. You can too.
While it may help to climb a mountain or take a vacation to access it, that’s not necessary. Start from where you sit. Julia Cameron says, “The reward for attention is always healing.” So, wherever you are and whatever is tugging at you, take time to look, listen, and experience.
If you haven’t yet, check out this season’s Five Days or Five Ways exercises and let me know what jogs you back into wonder.
Last month on Mt. Rainier
As always, thanks for seeking the magic with me!
I've come to value the "practice of practicing." We're never going to stop wandering off-track from our goals and good intentions, because we're constantly responding to a life in flux. Our practices need occasional updates, too, so they don't become stale. Going off-track and then reorienting myself is another way of coming home. ✨ Also, what a gorgeous Mt Rainier photo! 😍
Sometimes, going off-track can lead to unexpected discoveries. Free-falling for a time can be liberating but I also really appreciate how easy it is to stray and not achieve our aims. I really like the fact that you see this as a way to reset yourself. Good luck with your creative adventures!